It was my first day back at work, just a half day, but at work nonetheless. The staff don't know what to say to me, everyone seems afraid of me so they act like nothing has happened. For today it was a welcome break from all the grieving. I did a dental with an extraction on an older cat and I did a really good job. It felt good to be using my skills and talent to help that cat.
The drive to and from work was the hardest part. I had to pass Banner Gateway, the hospital where I had Grace. I had tears streaming down my face while on the freeway. I used to tell Grace that she would be born there when I was pregnant, and before I was pregnant I would always say to myself that is where I will have my baby someday.
It is getting easier to focus on the amazing memories I have of being pregnant and the incredible miracle that her birth was and not the gut wrenching pain of losing her. I hope that continues since she was the most amazing experience of my life and I never want to lose sight of that.
The husband and I are planning more gardening projects for the weekend to keep busy. It helps to be busy.
Missing you baby, thinking of you always... Mom
I also have a necklace. It has Eva's picture on it and her name and dates on the back. As well as part of a verse that is my constant companion now. 'Lord haste the day'
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry we have necklaces instead of children, no matter how beautiful and precious those necklaces are, our children are more precious.
Sending love and hope.
Em