Tuesday, March 20, 2012

Postpartum Follow Up Today

We had our 6 week follow up today.  It went reasonably well, there was no one in the waiting room when we got there, and only one pregnant woman showed up while we were waiting.  Despite that good start I started crying before we even made it to the exam room.  The exam was normal, he said that I looked good.  The pap smear results should be back next week at the latest, possibly Friday.  Last Spring I had an abnormal pap, and had to have a colposcopy which was thankfully normal.  The plan was to have pap smears every 6 months, but I was pregnant with Grace so no November pap.  I am not sure that I could take any more bad news so please, please universe let me have a normal pap.  The good news was that in 1-2 cycles we could actively start to try and get pregnant again, and he said that we did not have to take any precautions against pregnancy in the meantime.  That office has some of the best memories of my life, I hate that it is so hard to be there now.

We came home and I was just exhausted.  The mail had photos from the hospital which I was not expecting.  They were very sweet with Grace in her little outfit from Threads of Love.  Then both Mark and I had a mini break down.  It was cathartic and needed after all the emotion from today.


  1. I think this is my first comment, but I wanted to say hi and that I am so sad to read Grace's story. Writing and connecting to this community have helped me so much since my daughter died (almost 11 months ago).

    The postpartum checkup is just so unfair, so emotional and so hard. You got through it! I still cry most times when i go to my OB's office, so many good and bad memories mixed together.

    Glad you got your pictures back.

  2. Going to Eva's pediatrician's office for the first time without her was excruciating. I can only imagine this must have felt very similar. It's truly amazing how all this grief is so exhausting. I hope you post the picture of Grace in the little outfit.
    Sending love,