Grace Bear

When I was in the hospital we had such wonderful nurses and doctors, but one in particular really helped us start to learn how to grieve.  Her name was Lesley.  She gave us books and other literature on baby loss, arranged for a photographer to come, arranged for the Chaplain to come and speak with us, etc.  She also gave us a stuffed bear.  She said that a previous baby loss couple were given a bear and they called it the Braydon bear for their son who was born still.  A few months after their loss they donated a new bear to the labor and delivery unit for a future couple who had lost their baby.  Lesley brought us this bear, she said that this could be our Grace bear.  I had not slept with stuffed animals since I was 13, but I have slept with the Grace bear every night since Lesley gave her to us.  When I delivered Grace, I held her with the Grace bear.  I tried to visualize Grace's spirit going into the bear, so that a part of her could come home with us.  I hold the bear at night and dream that it could be my baby.

Grace and the Grace bear