So my husband is sick. He is the most difficult sick person ever and is trying my patience. He wanted me to take him to the doctor, okay that is reasonable. I hate that office since I was there 2 weeks before Grace died with the stomach flu and then a week after she died with mastitis. Of course there is a woman in the waiting room with a 4 week old baby, just about what Grace would have been. I just wanted to curl into a ball and sob. And at the end of all that he drove both ways and really didn't even need me there.
I feel bad that I am short with him, but he won't do anything I recommend. He won't drink fluids, he won't try to eat anything, he just wants medication after medication. I guess that I am also afraid that something bad will happen to him too and then I will be all alone.
I wish that Grace were here. If I could just have my baby everything else would be manageable. I think about her sweet face and wonder what color her eyes were beneath those eyelids. I think about her feet, just like mine with the second toe longer than the first. She would have been tall like me, she was already 17 1/2 inches at 32 weeks. She would have been the most amazing person, I just know it. She changed my life just being pregnant with her, she would have changed so many others if she could have lived.