Saturday, March 17, 2012


The world of babyloss is a strange place.  There is a language all it's own, that you learn quickly.  You enter into it raw, bleeding, tear stained and broken.  You talk about your inner most thoughts, fears, emotions using this strange new language that all of a sudden you are fluent in.  You develop friendships with people you have never seen, voices you have never heard, they are your lifeline and you rarely even know their real first name.  You know them by their handle, a name they have chosen, one that generally speaks to their loss.  Mine is "Grace's Mom" or "Thoughts of Grace" depending on the site.  Maybe this emotional freedom is only possible through anonymity.  If I say my real name or that of my husband would it prevent me from saying everything I need to?  Would people use it against me?  Would knowing what I do for a living change how people view me and my opinions?  Unfortunately for all of us who we are and what we do does affect how we process our grief and loss.

So here we go... My name is Amanda, my husband is Mark.  We are Grace's parents.  I am a veterinarian, Mark is a middle school art teacher.  We are regular, middle class people.  We are well educated, compassionate people who care about other people and animals.  We share our home with two dogs, a 13 year old German Shepherd mix named Audrey, a 7 year old Pit Bull named Lakota and three cats, Flip, Louie and Banksy.  We are still Grace's parents, losing our anonymity does not change that, it does not change our loss, it just brings more of her story and our story into focus.

My favorite U/S Picture of Grace

1 comment:

  1. Hi Amanda. I must say I already knew you were a vet somehow. I think it had to do with a post about pulling teeth from an old cat.

    You are and will always be Grace's mom though.