Today Grandma and I went to the dentist. It was a good appointment, no cavities for either of us. Grandma did well and seemed to be feeling good. Mark called yesterday to let them know about Grace since the last time I was there I was 12 weeks pregnant. The dentist's office was one of the very first places I announced my pregnancy. I did okay until the hygienist asked about my necklace and then told me that her new granddaughter's name is Grace. I just said "huh" and did not say anything else, then cried a little while she finished cleaning my teeth. I do wonder if Grace would have had my teeth. I hope so since I never needed orthodontia and Mark did....
I hear other baby loss moms talking about how they dream about their children. I never have dreams about Grace. I wish that I did, it would be a way that I could have new memories about her. Sometimes I can feel her though and that is pretty amazing. I can feel her lying on my chest, just like in the hospital. When that happens I feel so calm and centered, like for just that moment everything is okay because we are together again.
No need to tell you to cherish the moments when you can feel her there with you. I used to feel Eva's sparkly presence sometimes in the early days. She was right there with me. I loved it. I dreamed about her once, and only once. I hope to again one day. I hope you get to dream of Grace one day too.
ReplyDeleteI only recently felt Henry laying on me. I had look at his picture of him laying on me and then go and be alone and just imagine but it worked and I felt him. I sobbed a lot.
ReplyDeleteI dreamt of him once but it was not a good dream, it was sad.
I'm thinking about you and Grace. I hope you can always feel her close to you.