Since Grace died I have found out the people in my life that are true friends and those who cannot be counted on. However even the best of friends and family did not have the emotional stamina to keep up with my grief needs. I needed 24/7 access to people who would listen about Grace, and how amazing she was, and how much my heart was broken, and did not have any glib one liners to shut me down: time heals all wounds, etc. I tried an IRL support group, we went 3 times, 2 times too many actually. It was not the right mix of people. I tried three different online support communities, one immediately felt like home, the other two I struggled with and tried for a few months, and I eventually stopped posting and checking.
So I have no photos of the baby loss moms and dads who lift me up and hold me when I need it. No faces to put to the names and the stories. I have cried so many tears for their losses and struggles and I could not pick them out of a crowd. They are my girls, my posse, my community. They live not only all over the country, but all over the world. I could not have gotten this far without them. I thank the Universe, God, a higher power for them every day. I hope that I give them the same love and support that they have given me.
I think about that sometimes too, how I "know" all of you but if we walked by each other we probably wouldn't know it!
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