Tuesday, September 4, 2012

How to Make a Baby Loss Quilt

This week I have embarked upon a strange new journey... quilting.  My Grandmother shared quilts with me as a little girl, she did not make them (although I suspect that she would have had her life been different), but she appreciated them, bought them and had them made.  I remember going to the Kutztown Folk Festival with her in the summer and looking at all of the beautiful quilts that cost too much for us to buy, but were great fun to look at.

 I asked for a book on quilting years ago for Christmas and it sat on my shelf, unread, for the better part of a decade.  Until a few weeks ago.  I decided to read it.  I see other mom's making quilts for their babies, I see babies on quilts in my hypnosis sessions, and one of my favorite gifts for Grace was a handmade quilt in pink and green.  So I am going to try and make one myself.  I have the book, I ordered equipment on Amazon, I bought fabric.  I am ready... I think.

I don't know who this quilt is for.  It may be just for me.  It may be a representation of hope, that I will have another baby soon to make a quilt for.  It may be guilt that I never even thought of making one for Grace.  I don't know, but I know that I need to make it, I need to at least try.  I am hoping that it will be a meditative practice, that can quiet my mind and relax my soul.

The last few weeks have been so hard.  I miss her so much.  I actually had ghost kicks last week and they brought back such happy memories that I did not start crying for 5 minutes, but then the feeling of loss flooded my spirit.  I suspect that there will be many tears shed while making this quilt and that is okay.

Fabrics for the quilt experiment


  1. A lovely idea. "A representation of hope." I hope so. I've been thinking of quilting lately, too, and it is something that I have never been very interested in before. I hope it's a satisfying activity for you.

  2. Of course you should do this. I'm glad you have the clarity to see that it's important for you, even if you're not sure why just yet.
    I continue to think of you often, check your blog at least once a week, but rarely get a chance to comment. I'm so sorry for all the times it comes crashing down. And yet for me that's where my child lies, so sometimes I've relieved to go there. To know I'm still THAT upset and her loss is THAT horrible.
    I'm assuming you're still month to month with trying to get pregnant. *sigh* I hate that for you. It's exhausting on every level, rakes your soul every month. UNTIL the one when you "get there". (Then it will be a whole new kind of torture until the babe arrives.) :) Hang on hang on hang on.