Saturday, September 15, 2012

The Formula for a Family

So when all of your dreams involve having living children you spend a lot of time thinking about how many ways you can build a family.  Of course there is the typical way: find a member of the opposite sex that you want to spend a lot of time with, marry them or make some type of long term commitment, then have unprotected sex, make babies = instant family.

 I tried to follow that formula, but it did not work out so well for me.  Got the husband, had the unprotected sex, no baby.  Took the next step saw the fertility specialist, had the tests, had the treatments, spent the money, no baby.  Had the miracle, unexplained, perfect pregnancy, with the beautiful daughter of my dreams, but no living baby.

Read all the books on natural or alternative formulas for family making.  Now I have seen the acupuncturist, had the needling, taken the Chinese herbs, been hypnotized, done the yoga, taken my temperature daily, peed on so many OPKs and fertility prediction devices, still no pregnancy.

So now what?  How far am I willing to go to build my family?  First I am not ready to throw in the towel on getting pregnant on my own, but I am thinking ahead to how I will proceed if I am not pregnant after another 12-18 months of trying.

So the next formula... another round of IVF?  Yeah I would do that again.  Donor eggs and IVF?  Yeah I would do that.  Straight up adoption?  Wow that is harder, but yes I would do that too.  So I guess there are a lot of formulas to grow a family, and I am pretty much open to all of them.

Hope is a tricky thing, but I am trying to hold on to it and see all the ways I could parent a living child.  They are all wonderful and someday one of them will bring a baby into our lives again.


  1. And however you build your family Amanda I'll be reading along and cheering you on. Hoping with you through it all.

    Much love, Em

  2. I'm commenting on your blog for the first time. It's all so tough, what next, how long to try. I loved this post you worded it all so well. All the possibilities of how to start a family. Sweet Grace showed how possible it is. Love to you! Michelle