Monday, September 10, 2012


This last week I thought would be really relaxing, but the universe did not get the same memo I did.  We still had water pouring from our ceiling from a supposedly fixed issue with our air conditioner, the pool vacuum stopped working, the garbage disposal started leaking, the leak in the water line to the refrigerator that my husband thought he fixed is not fixed, my car went into the body shop to fix a dent my husband put in it, my mother decided she wanted to stay for a few days after Labor Day, the microwave stopped working, my FIL's car I was using while mine was in the shop had the check engine light on, when I finally got my car back the tire pressure light went on, when I used my DH's car the battery to the remote entry was dead and every time I tried to start the car or open the door without it the car alarm went off, then the gas light went on.... Ugh

I have been trying not to stress out, but honestly it is so much.  I did get the microwave fixed, the cars and their keys are all functional again with normal tire pressure.  I ordered a new garbage disposal, sent my mother back to Tucson, got the pool vacuum serviced and started shopping for a replacement.  Finally got a good HVAC guy out here who fixed the problem with the condensing pan so no more water in my living room.  That leaves me with a garbage disposal to install when it gets here, a hole to fix in my living room ceiling, a refrigerator with a bum water line, oh I forgot the leaking faucet in the kitchen and likely a new pool vacuum to buy.

So after all this stress and chaos, I was doing the laundry this weekend.  I started getting really emotional, since this was something that I wax expecting to do daily or at least every other day, and it is still a once a week chore.  Mark told me earlier this week that if it is just us and we don't have more children he is still so happy because we love each other so much.  I am glad that he loves me that much, and I would never want to be with any one else, but that desire for another child just echoes inside me.  I want to be using the crap out of the washing machine.  I want to have a babbling screaming baby while I deal with the joys of homeownership.  I just really miss her, really, really miss her.


  1. It's those little things that hit us out of left field. I know how much you miss her and I wish so much things were different. And that, poof, I could make her re-appear. I wish things worked that way sometimes. But they don't. And our girls are still dead. Sometimes that gets me, you know. She's STILL dead, as if, well, hasn't she been dead long enough. Can't I have her back now...

  2. I'm so sorry you had such a crappy week. It was just one thing after the other and nothing could go right. I find no matter what upsets me, in the end I'm just crying for my daughter. I'm so glad you have your loving and supportive husband - he's sounds wonderful. But I know what you mean about the yearning for another child and I really really hope it happens for you!