Sunday, August 19, 2012

Jane's Irish Stew

Mark has really be struggling lately, and honestly I am not doing that much better.  I still cry so easily, commercials, movies, songs, and of course baby loss blog posts can have tears pouring down my face in seconds.  The whole TTC journey is slightly less stressful as I take the advice of my hypnotherapist and acupuncturist, but the grief and loss journey is still so rocky.

Poor Mark had some bad news at work this week.  Honestly a silly clerical issue is causing the district to dock his pay to that of a long term substitute for 2 weeks.  Such a heavy punishment for a ridiculous paper pushing mistake.  He just feels so unsupported by his work and his friends lately.  I have been focusing on trying to nurture him and be there for him 110%.

So today he did not want to even get out of bed.  I convinced him to go to church, which usually helps him, but then when we got home he slept some more.  We ran a few errands this afternoon and I made him Irish Stew for dinner and a sour cream chocolate cake for dessert.  He had an honest to God Irish nanny as a little boy and he adored her.  Hell he still adores her and she died 40 some years ago.  I did my best to recreate her stew and he said that I came close.  I told him while we were eating that maybe Jane was taking care of Grace in the afterlife, and he said that he hoped that was true.  Now he is watching his beloved Pittsburgh Steelers and we will eat cake, as soon as it cools.  I wish that I could do more for him, but this is all I have and I hope that it is enough.

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