Today I had my first hypnosis session with my therapist. It was different and powerful and beautiful at the same time. I had tears rolling down my face at the end I just wanted to stay the in world I saw in that hypnotic trance.
For those of you who have never been hypnotized, like me 4 hours ago, here is a brief description of what happened. I was in a recliner, there was soft, relaxing music playing in the background. The hypnotist described relaxing each part of my body, one by one, them becoming loose and heavy. Then she had me picture a staircase with plush red carpet on it, that had 20 steps. She had me mentally walk down the steps and with each step I became more and more relaxed, like my body was numb and floating away. At the bottom of the steps I was bathed in this clean pure sun light, and then I honestly lost track of her voice. Being in the trance state is kind of like the place you are just between sleep and wakefulness. You can hear what is going on around you, but you just ignore it, and you can have visions, but you are apart from not in them like a normal sleeping dream. I had several visions during my hypnotic trance today. The first was of a forest, all the trees and branches were frozen, but the sun was shining on them and clear, pure water was dripping off them into a stream running through the snow. All of the bad feelings and experiences of my life were just melting away from those trees into that stream.
Then the hypnotist lead me to "talk" to my reproductive organs, ask then what the need, thank them for working so hard every month. I was having trouble since I could not feel what my womb needed and I felt like I might be doing something wrong and then I started to have a vision. It was Grace's room, but not her room. There was a big window and the sun was streaming in, everything in the room was bathed in this gentle, gauzy light. There was a white crib (just like the one I had picked out for Grace) and pink, fluffy blankets and I was standing in the light, peaceful and happy, just waiting. I wish I could explain better how peaceful I felt, I did not want to leave that place, but I had to. I walked back up the red staircase, one step at a time, with each step becoming more aware of my body and my surroundings, until I reached the top step and opened my eyes.
I would have told you the whole experience lasted 10 to 15 minutes at most, but I have a cd recording of the session and it is almost 40 minutes long. I awoke rested and relaxed, hopeful and so happy that I had decided to do this.
She asked me to describe any thoughts, feelings or images that came up during the trance. I described the two I had and we talked about what they could mean. She felt that I was the forest, frozen, but that the melting was Spring coming, which brings new life with it. I felt like the nursery was how I really view my womb, safe, peaceful and a place of life. I am waiting for a baby that I know will come, come from me. I have said before that I know I will have more children, but I really KNOW in the deepest recesses of my mind it is my future.
For now I have my cd to listen to at home. She said that the more often I practice getting into a hypnotic trance the deeper I will be able to get during sessions and the more work we can do to discover any possible sub-conscious blocks to my fertility.
For any readers who are on a fertility journey of their own, which like mine is anything but a straight line. I would so recommend at least trying hypnotherapy. Peace to you all.