Monday, July 15, 2013

The Empty Place on my Walls

We got the prints from the professional photographer of Rosabella's newborn shoot and the print from the hospital photos a few weeks back.  After a trip to IKEA for frames they are now all matted, framed and hung in our living room and foyer.  They look great, but they also make me sad.  We have some small pictures of Grace in my office, in the library and in Mark's studio, but none in public areas of the house.  I have thought about having her pictures displayed more publicly, but would that be too emotionally difficult for us?  Do I want all people who come into my home and be able to see her?  Then I started thinking that we already have so many more pictures of Rosabella than we do of Grace and that will only increase with time.  Even if we hang more pictures of Grace those are the only pictures that we will ever have, whereas we can take as many pictures of her sister as we want.  There is and always will be an empty place on the walls and in our hearts.


  1. you have beautiful photos of grace. eva is represented everywhere in our home although she was very much alive in the pics. yes, she is always missing

  2. I think this somehow gets easier over time. At first I didn't want the pictures of my son to be publicly displayed. I hated having to explain to people that he was dead and just seeing him was like a rip in my heart. Over time, though, we slowly moved the pictures and mementos into the living room. It felt good having the family together. Now, I talk about him to whoever will listen and I don't mind saying, "That's my son. He died when he was almost two months old." It still hurts, it still tears at me, but I've learned new ways to manage it I guess. I don't think there's a right or a wrong way to do it.

    She is beautiful, by the way. And I love her name.

    Rebecca Patrick-Howard