Changes all around

Today I am 34 weeks, 2 more weeks than I have ever been pregnant before.  Little Bear is active and moving and wonderful, I am puffy and swollen and have acid reflux a good portion of the time, but these little troubles are a small, small price to pay for getting to be pregnant again.  We are nesting and getting ready for her to come into our lives.  I am reading books on baby care and development, we are trying to make appointments to get car seats installed, I need to inventory the freezer one last time and see what meals I should make and freeze, we are having  a yard sale tomorrow to sell some of my Grandmother's nurse collection to make room in the garage.  Six more weeks to go and I want to be as ready as possible (although I know that bringing her home will feel like flying without a net no matter what I do or read now).

So many changes, good changes, I am happy.

However work is a dark storm cloud on my sunny outlook.  They fired my good friend a month ago, the woman who planned Grace's baby shower that had to be canceled and the one of planned and co-hosted Bear's.  She is an excellent doctor and a good person and letting her go was bull sh#t.  Then my schedule was completely changed, twice, for the month of May to accommodate the new doctor who starts Monday.  Now yesterday another doctor showed up for an interview at the clinic.  We don't have any open positions unless they are letting me go.  This was our first clue that my friend's job was in trouble, when doctors came to interview.  I have worked for this company for 8 years.  I have had one raise in that time.  I get 12 paid days off per year.  I am not provided with health insurance, I don't get a Christmas bonus.  If one of my 6 paid holidays falls on a day that I am not scheduled to work, I do not get another day off to compensate or any additional pay.  I point blank asked my boss after they fired my friend if they were planning on making any other staffing changes and he said no.  I suspect that he was dishonest with me.  Since my DH is taking early retirement our ability to pay our bills is completely dependent on my income.  I am scared, but mostly annoyed that after so many years I am looking over my shoulder waiting to lose my job.  There are not that many jobs in my field, the economy has hit my industry hard like so many others.  I know that I am good at what I do, but finding a new job could take time.

Oh well, maybe it is time for a change in that part of my life too.  Honestly as long as we have Bear I think I can make it through anything else.  Hang in there baby only 5-7 more weeks to go!

My girls... together.