Friday, June 7, 2013


I have to admit that I have not been coping very well with being a mom to a newborn.  I am stressed and anxious and cry frequently.  I feel isolated and alone even though my DH is here with me.  I suspect that I am having some post partum depression, but lack the motivation to do anything about it.  Rosabella seems fine, but is still way off her birth weight, at just under 7 lbs.  The pediatrician wants to weight her again Monday and if she has not gained 1 oz per day then he is talking about further testing for failure to thrive.  I am a wreck about this.  I nurse her round the clock, my breasts hurt, my nipples hurt and still she does not gain the way she should.  I feel like such a failure, like I am going to lose her, they are going to find something wrong with her and I will lose another baby...  I am overwhelmed.  I am really thinking about giving up on breast feeding, I am not sure I can emotionally handle it and it does not seem like Rosabella is doing well with my milk.  I am so scared.  I know how to be pregnant and how to give birth, but I don't know how to get my baby to thrive.  FAILURE to thrive.  God I hate that phrase,  I just need to know that she is going to be okay.  Grace please keep watching over us and protect your sister.  I cannot lose another baby.  I cannot fail at this.


  1. Honey, I hear you. You are not alone. I am praying for a peace that surpasses all understanding to be with you tonight.

  2. Just read this now. Sending you a big hug. You are not a failure. You love your girls so much. Some babies gain more slowly...M is doing the same. I don't want to diminish your fears - not at all - but just to say, you're not alone - being a mom to a newborn is hard in so many different ways.