Monday, March 18, 2013

Anxiety creeping into my daily life

I officially entered the third trimester Friday and the anxiety about this baby dying just jumped into the forefront of my world.  I do kick counts obsessively.  I have started some hypnobabies affirmations trying to deal with the anxiety.  I am also just trying to take everything one moment at a time.

As a fun side note, my ankles and feet have started to swell like crazy, of course I am freaking out that I could have pre-eclampsia and that this could be bad for the baby.  I see my OB tomorrow and will find out if my blood pressure is out of whack or not.  I have ordered some graduated compression socks and stockings to help with the swelling if it turns out to be just the normal pregnancy swelling.  I am trying to be proactive about everything, but the fear is there always in the background.

We pray to Grace to help bring Baby Bear to this world safely.  I wish so much that I could have brought her home safely too.  My baby girls... will I get to keep either?  Why couldn't I have both?


  1. I think all you can do is what you are - keep taking one moment at a time, keep breathing and remember that one day this will have passed.

    I'm so grateful for your honesty - I lost my first baby, a daughter, in January. I so want a child to bring home, and the thought of being pregant is very scary. Following your journey is giving me a little courage, even thought you are scared. You are scared and you are doing it.

    1. Nomi I am so sorry for the loss of your baby girl. What is her name? I was walking in your shoes this time last year and I never thought that I would be where I am now. This journey is scary, heart breaking, but also beautiful and everything in between. I wish you peace in the months to come, I know that they are not easy, but I know that you can do it. Thank you for reading about my road with Grace and now Baby Bear.

  2. Thank you for replying :)
    My babies name was/is Lyra May. She died in my womb at five months. There was no known cause - she was perfect and I am healthy. Although this is confusing, I am told that it means one day I could be bringing my second baby home, safe and well.

    It's amazing that only last year you were where I am...It fills me with hope :)