Monday, September 16, 2013
I was just laying on the floor of the nursery, waiting for Rosabella to be deeply asleep enough that I could leave. I was crying, quietly so that I would not wake the baby up, thinking about the first time I was laying on the floor of that room. It was in the first few days I was home from the hospital, the room was unfinished, no crib, no changing table, and no baby. Grace was gone and the room looked as if she was never here. I just screamed and sobbed and shook and hyperventilated on that floor. So mad at a world that would take my precious miracle baby away, so devastated that I was still here with an empty womb and milk filling my breasts. Now this room has a baby, and all the accessories and clothes that come with a living child, but even with all that it is empty, because there is another baby who should have napped in there. My dear Grace, my missing baby, I love you so.