Grace's First Birthday

Dear Grace,

My darling girl today is your first birthday.  I missed you more than I could imagine.  I cried more tears in the last few days then I have in weeks.  Yesterday the heavens opened and cried for you too.  The Earth misses you.  Today I made you a little cake.  A heart shaped cake.  A miniature of the cake I made for your Dad's birthday in 2 days.  We took your ashes and your Bear to lunch and the Desert Botanical Garden.  We cried at the restaurant and held hands as the song "Glad you Came" played.  We are so glad you came into our lives and we are still so sad that you did not get to stay with us.  We put a candle on your cake and sang to you.  I broke down and sobbed.  I am sorry baby, I am trying to remember all the joy and wonder you brought into my life and not just the horrible sadness I feel losing you.  I pictured what this day should have been, you smashing your cake with your little fists and getting frosting in you hair.  The little dreams I had for us that will never get to be.  Please know, as deeply as one can know anything, that I love you more today than I did one year ago, and I will love you more next year than this year.  My love for you is ever expanding and eternal.

Love,

Mom