Today has been hard... I was thinking about how the time I was pregnant with Grace were the best in my life. I was so happy, feeling her move and growing within me I felt so connected to the positive forces in the universe. She was such a miracle, so perfect... I feel so blessed that she came into our lives. I am greedy and I want more time with her, like a lifetime.
I wrote to the photographer from the hospital and he said that I should have her photos by the end of the week. That was the highlight of my day. I was so worried that something had gone wrong and the pictures were missing. I can't even describe how important those photos are to me. Seeing her beautiful face and remembering those blissful hours we got to spend with her I need to hold on to.
God I hope that I get to be pregnant again someday. Not that anything would replace my Grace, but just to feel that connection to another being again, to the universe again. To feel alive again.