It has been a hard few days, maybe something about it being Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness month, I have been crying a lot and just missing Grace so badly. She feels far way and right here all at the same time. My DH said that Grace did not like him doing something and I thought he misspoke and meant Rosabella, but he said "No Grace does not like this, she holds me to a higher standard." I bought a frame at a discount store for a picture of Rosabella and then felt so bad because I did not buy one for Grace. I went back later to look for one for her, but they did not have any more. I wish that I had gotten to be the mother to Grace than I am for Rosabella. I wish that I did not lose all those little moments. I wrote this last week when the missing her and the grieving her just overwhelmed me.
I'll be your Mother forever
Not just for the day I held you and kissed you and wished that you could stay
I cannot rock you to sleep, or kiss away your tears
You sleep soundlessly without me.
And there is no pain or sadness to cause tears where you are.
My heart aches for all that we lost
The million gentle moments we should have shared
The ones stolen from us, by that cruel twist
But the most important thing could not be taken...
Our love for each other.
Know this baby, know this deep and true
I'll be your Mother forever
I like that: I'll be your mother forever. So simple, so important, so true.
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